My Story

¡Hola! I’m Cecilia, a multiply Neurodivergent (Autistic, ADHD (AuDHD), Dyslexic, Learning Disorder), Marriage and Family Therapist, Coach, and parent of a neurodivergent teen (Also AuDHDer and Dyslexic). My identity came as an adult during college (almost 20 years ago). I was “diagnosed” with ADHD and a Learning Disorder in Reading Fluency. I had already been diagnosed with Dyslexia in elementary. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I realized I was also an Autistic person. It made sense why I could relate to my son and other Autistic individuals.

Learning about being Autistic through the neurodiversity lens, in an affirming and strength-based manner, and how it is presented in women and AFAB, it all finally made sense! I had so many mixed emotions. Looking back, I can now recognize all the signs that were present throughout my childhood and teen years that were not the stereotypical “boy” characteristics, which meant I went unnoticed. That is because I was primarily the “inattentive type” (although hyperactivity is in my brain!), gifted in some areas and had “appropriate” interests.

Learning how my mind processes things, how my body processes emotions and senses, and finding the words that describe these processes was empowering. I was able to finally connect to myself. All my life, I did everything to suppress everything about myself because that is what was taught and what I had to do to survive in a world not made for me and that misunderstood me. I heavily masked. I became so disconnected from myself that I was unaware that I was even masking. Reading about traits and characteristics was confusing because I compared them to my masked self, and I was not the stereotypical Autistic. This disconnection with myself made me unaware of my sensory differences and of how to identify them, much less accommodate and advocate for myself. This caused me to struggle with depression and anxiety, which started as a teen and continued throughout my adult life. I now have learned that most of these symptoms were actually autistic burnouts, shutdowns, and meltdowns.

Learning about my identity empowered me and helped me advocate for myself. I was able to give myself grace. I was excited that things finally made sense, but I also grieved not learning this sooner. This was the start of a long journey of learning everything about how these experiences impact every part of myself and my experiences with trauma and other mental and emotional experiences. It was also important to evaluate how my environment, family system and dynamics, and other systems outside of me have impacted me.

Why did it take me a long time to realize I was autistic?

This is the dilemma that so many are facing today. Because my son had many of the stereotypical ADHD and Autistic “boy” characteristics, he was quickly diagnosed. As a psychology student who went on to work in the mental health and social services field, I only knew about the stereotypical, deficit-based, medical model-based information that is now very outdated and ableist. To this day, Autistic and ADHD neurotypes are not really taught in college or as part of professional development training. If so, it is taught through the outdated deficit-based medical model that teaches that they are disorders and diseases to be treated (and even cured) with harmful therapies designed to make children appear/act more neurotypical and do not address and support the underlying autistic/adhd processes, sensory differences, and experiences. These therapies were developed and informed by these outdated models and research that were not inclusive of Autistic/ADHD communities and not by Autistic researchers. ND voices are valuable and should always be included. “Nothing about us without us.”

In true ADHD and Autistic fashion, once I learned about the Neurodiversity Paradigm, I used my monotropic and hyperfocus powers to learn everything about Autistic and ADHD neurotypes. I began reading and collecting articles and books, joining consultation groups with other Autistic/ADHD mental health/helping professionals, neurodiversity (ND) conferences, summits, trainings, and collaborating with other ND-affirming professionals. I collected them all like Pokemon! And still, I am a lifelong learner.